Relationships: The Whole Point

"Pure love... knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest things out of love - love, and always love." - 'Divine Mercy in My Soul', St. Faustina

Alright, time to talk about relationships. Don't worry, this isn't going to be one of those "You'd better not do anything bad, you hear me?!?!" rants, seeing as those usually make things worse in fact. I'd rather talk about something necessary for any relationship. In fact, it's not only necessary for a good, healthy relationship to form, but also necessary for any relationship to become better.

I'm talking, of course, about love. Real love. Agape.

In the original Koine Greek, agape literally translates to "love" in English. Philia, another type of love, translates to "friendship", eros to "cupid" or physical attraction, and storge to "affection". The  first person verb form of apage, which is s'agapo, translates to "I love you". This is a phrase people in relationships say a lot, many a time not fully realizing what they're saying. In contrast with the other three types of love, agape directly means "to love". While the other three can usually be seen simply as feelings or states of a relationship, agape is necessarily understood in the verb form. It is always an action, a person loving another, not simply just a feeling or such.

Now, you might be asking, "What does this have to do with relationships?" Well, this is where we have to understand the point of any relationship, especially romantic ones. In order to do so, we need to look at the Sacrament of Marriage. 

The Church teaches that in the Sacrament of Marriage, especially in the conjugal act, husband and wife are directed towards love, specifically that of the love of God, by their being united into one flesh and their cooperation with God in the act of creation of new life. Obviously the conjugal act is only good and truly realized within the Sacrament of Marriage, but understanding that allows us to know what romantic relationships are for in the end: Marriage, always marriage.

If marriage is directed to coming closer to the Bridegroom Himself by way of the love between husband and wife, that love which they direct only towards the other to bring them closer to Christ, and if dating and courting are directed toward loving the other, then it would stand that they are directed to the same thing as marriage: Getting the other person to fall more and more deeply in love with the Lord Jesus. And that is also why dating and courting need to be directed toward marriage, so that the man and woman can continue to work for the good of the other for God's will of love.

In the end, love is the point, just like everything else. In any romantic relationship, the man and woman should seek to do everything for the good of the beloved, just like God does for us and we should do for Him. This agape is necessary for the couple, and is truly understood when the love they have for each other is found in bringing the other person closer to Christ in every way possible. 

So go to Mass together! Pray together! Read Scripture together, go to Adoration together, read the writings of the Saints together! If you truly want the best for the other and, in the words of St. Thomas Aquinas, "will the good of the other", then you should be bringing them closer to the true Lover, the Lord Jesus Christ! That is the point: To be their companion so He can love them through you, to make them better lovers of Him, and to give entirely of yourself and do everything for their sake, as long as it is the will of Christ.

St. John Paul the Great, please pray for all the young people that you called to live for Christ, especially in their relationships with one another, that they may always only seek the love of their Bridegroom, and through that lead others to Him as well!