"Contemplation is nothing else than a secret, peaceful, and loving infusion of God, which if admitted, will set the soul on fire with the Spirit of love." - St. John of the Cross
I am not strictly an introvert or an extrovert. I am what is classified as an “ambivert,” meaning that I am both. I love to be around people, but I also need quality alone time to be by myself and recharge. Almost all of my friends are strictly extroverted, which can be difficult to deal with at times. It can be puzzling or even frustrating to them when I act really quiet in public or decline invites to hang out just because I’d rather have the time to myself. It’s not because I’m sad or trying to avoid them — I just need to recharge!
So… what does this have to do with spiritual contemplation?
I’ve noticed that it is difficult for so many of us, in a world dominated by extroverted expectation, to embrace the quiet, introverted sides that we all have. In this silence is where God wants us to seek Him. By simplifying our loud, busy lives and embracing a prayerful silence that so fervently begs to be heard among the cries of a million earthly responsibilities, we can open our ears to His voice and spiritual promptings.
It is probably easier for introverts rather than extroverts to understand this concept. By definition, extroverts typically do not like to spend time alone reflecting when they’d much rather be out socializing or doing something fun. Calming down and setting aside time to pray and reflect may even seem alien to those who are not used to it.
Based on personal experience, here are some techniques for all personality types to test out in order to incorporate spiritual contemplation into their everyday lives. I encourage you all to give them a try. It may be difficult, especially at first, but I encourage you to persevere for a significant amount of time in order to see if any of these techniques benefit your life and your relationship with God. Even if you do not find these methods helpful, I hope that they spark a new spiritual perspective on contemplation in your everyday life.
1. Simplify your schedule
Although this is the most difficult step to take, it is an essential leap towards a more spiritual and contemplative life. Start by praying for guidance from the Holy Spirit in order to find gaps in your schedule to insert quiet prayer time. Personally, I like for prayer to be the last thing that I do in a day, so I usually have a 45-minute block before I go to bed in which I have reserved for meditation, scripture study, and quiet reflection.
Social media and electronics in general should be put aside at least an hour in advance of bedtime or quiet time (which doesn’t have to be right before bed!) This may make me sound like an annoying parent, but many scientific studies have been done that prove how electronics stimulate the brain like crazy, making it hard to wind down. In fact, science isn’t even necessary in this case to prove how electronics affect us! Just look around, especially at the younger generations — our society is full of citizens with potential who are growing less and less productive because they are too distracted by the shallow concept of social media and screen-to-screen communication as opposed to face-to-face meeting.
Without going off on an extreme tangent, I will simply put it this way: there are so many things that distract us in our daily lives that can be removed. Distractions vary from person to person, but we all suffer from them. If you notice something in your life that is keeping you from reaching your goals, or equally importantly, blocking you from personal time with God, get rid of it or at least try to lessen it. Ask others to pray for you so that your eyes are opened to the changes that need to be made for your own improvement.
2. Embrace the silence
Silence is not something to fear! I know too many people who are almost afraid of spending time alone and try so hard to avoid the thoughtfulness and contemplation that silence alone brings. I’ll say it again, do not be afraid of silence! There is so much you can learn about yourself and about God from spending time alone in the quiet.
The way I have observed it, there are a few different types of silence in which we can quiet our minds and our lives to hear the Lord. We should try to embrace them all, for spiritual and mental health.
The first kind is basic silence, or simply just allowing yourself to be. In this silence, you are not actively searching for God or trying to rummage through your thoughts for meaning. You are simply opening your mind to whatever decides to pass through it. This can be used to clear the mind after it has been busy for the entire day. In a way, you are allowing yourself to enjoy the silence and prepare for prayer.
The second type of silence is a prayerful, meditative state. In this silence, you are actively praying to God, or allowing yourself to stay open to however He wants to speak to you. Praying the rosary or reciting a mantra are some forms of prayer that can be used to bring a person into a meditative state. Both are very repetitive, yet are an extremely powerful expression of the soul through which the person praying can bring their focus to the power of God which resonates so deeply within us. It is difficult to describe just how this form of prayer works, but for those in deep meditation, its power is very real.
The third type of silence is a free-flowing, soul-spilling method of prayer or scripture reading. Often times when it is hard to talk to God, or there doesn’t seem to be much to say, many people will resort to this method. This type of silence captures two extremes of prayer. From both ends of the spectrum, this is the “talk to God” method. Whenever I hear that phrase, I think of a person standing with Jesus, simply talking to Him. They aren’t reciting prayers or scripture, they are merely having a conversation with Jesus. Sometimes when our lives are a mess and we are so desperate to hear God’s voice, we will plead desperately to him in our own words. This is one extreme, when we are at our lowest, and we have lost all control and are in dire need of God’s voice in our lives. The other extreme is when we feel detached from God at certain points in our lives. We may be bored, or even lazy, and not know where to start with our prayer. At this end of the spectrum, we are not really sure what to do, so we try to “talk to Jesus” in an almost literal sense. This is a rambling, often unstructured prayer that is unsure in nature. Alternately, some people may even just crack open a bible and read whatever page they land on. In sincerity, this can be a form of prayer too, if the reader is paying attention to and taking to heart what the scripture says. Overall, this is a basic, yet still important form of silent prayer that can be used in a multitude of situations, and especially if they're opening themselves to listen to God while reading.
While praying, if you find it boring just sitting, staring at a wall or closing your eyes, allow outward expressions such as drawing, painting, or even writing to take place if any of those come naturally to you. You can even take a walk or do yoga while you pray, since these forms of movement often help the spirit to connect with the body, and even help some to be more focused on prayer. Contrary to the ideas of some, meditation and prayer can take place even when you are actively doing something!
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